Sim-SiliconValley is a 3D startup-builder where players rent compute, buy data, hire humans, and ring the IPO bell. Right now they do it with NVIDIYEAH GPUs, AWShucks clusters, and Dim Data feeds, because every vendor is a parody until the real one takes the slot.
Three rentable cloud tiles, picked in the first five minutes of every run. Prime garage-stage real estate.
Blinking LEDs in your brand color. Players cluster them for adjacency bonuses and call it infrastructure strategy.
The late-game flex build. Glowing cores, serious wattage, your logo on the cooling towers.
The only data source in the valley, with a rotating rooftop dish. The in-game joke is that the DIY scraper never works. A certain real company knows why.
Where products get shipped and rockets get launched. Competes against the GPT-Wrapper Lab, and wins.
Every human in the game walks out of this building. Your brand, literally hiring.
The towers where ARR happens. Players stare at these numbers for the whole run.
Kombucha on tap. Desks priced off real market rents. Your lease terms could be the joke.
Halves team burnout in-game. Genuinely the most beloved building. Feed the sim workers.
Four skyline landmarks players sign partnerships with. Your tower, your deal terms, your accent lighting.
Little vans that drive in, drop a package, and leave. Pure ambience. Pure branding.
No gameplay effect whatsoever. The most honest ad slot in tech. We will build you a tiny cart.
The news ticker every player reads. "SV Wire, presented by You." Includes one custom joke headline per week.
Referenced in at least six jokes. A beverage brand could own them all.
Pricing is "message me and we will laugh about it together." Slots are exclusive per category. Payment in cloud credits considered. The leaderboard is never for sale.